MiniDasey: An Explanation
by December
Summary: Future fic. Ralph finally gets his special to talk about how Dasey happened - but can he make it all fit in an hour? And how will two "Dasey experts" react to his observations. Sequel to "Stand-Up Truth" Story Two in Ralph as Comic trilogy
1. The Commerical

Hello everyone. This is the sequel to "Stand-Up Truth", second in Ralph as comic trilogy. Although you don't need to have read "Stand-Up Truth" for this to make sense, I recommend that you do. Thanks for reading.

Mini-Dasey: An Explanation

The Commercial

As she closed the door to her hotel room, she sighed. She loved soccer. She loved coaching soccer. She loved "her kids," i.e., her players, but play-offs were exhausting. Those girls had better behave tonight, as their coach really needed some sleep.

As she began to get ready for bed, she turned on the TV for background noise, landing on the US Comedy Central channel. Some barely funny comic was on, so she managed to tune out the TV as she got ready to turn it. It was as she was about to turn the TV off for the night when the commercial caught her attention. It began simply enough, but by the end of the announcer's introduction, she was leaning into the TV.

"_Here at Comedy Central_," the announcer began, "_we consider it our mission to make sure you get the most important information. We roasted Scott Baio because you had burning questions about his reality TV stint. We presented 'Fatness Friday' to explore the continued appeal behind Ralphie May and Gabriel Iglesias. And now, we bring you a special to explain the most important power couple of our time: Derek and Casey._"

The commercial cuts to Ralph at the beginning of his first Comedy Central Presents special, saying "Whoa, dudes. Nice, nice. Thanks for that."

"_We know you've heard about them_," the commercial announcer continued before a montage of Ralph stand-up clips rolls by.

First, there was Ralph on Premium Blend, "Which means I have to talk about Derek. And Casey."

Then there was Ralph on Live at Gotham, "Derek and Casey. Casey and Derek. D and C. It was like all the time. All the time."

Ralph during his first Comedy Central special, "…to start talking about how I ended up with Casey, we have to talk about my best friend, Derek."

Finally, there was Ralph on the World Comedy Tour, "And this audience member had the nerve to ask me after the show, 'Can you, like, do a set without mentioning Derek and Casey?' And I look at her and said, 'Um…like, no?'"

"_And, based on the way Ralph talks about them, they must be pretty epic_," the announcer observes

Now the commercial shows a clip from the middle of Ralph's second Live at Gotham set, "And Martika looks at me and asks, 'You never got into the whole Brangenlia thing?' And I was like, 'No. Who needs Brangelia? I had Dasey. Yep, Derek and Casey were more drama than anything Hollywood ever thought about putting out,'"

"_But, Ralph's never given us their story_," the announcer continued. "_And he's given us a reason why._"

The next Ralph clip also came from his first Comedy Central special, "Now, I don't have time to talk about the whole Derek and Casey thing, because that's like a three hour special."

"_So_," the announcer went on to say, "_we've given him that special_."

A clip of Ralph during an opening monologue came next. "Really?! Sweet!"

"_But_," the announcer insisted, "_you have to keep it to an hour, Stoner Boy_."

"Well, fk," from Ralph in another set.

"_Don't worry, Ralph. We know you can do it. You told us you could_," the announcer finishes right before the clip of the end of Ralph's Live at Gotham special comes up.

"And, you know, your roommate's girlfriend has been around for too long when you start channeling Project Runway. I mean, I found looking over my set and saying out loud in an upper crust American accent, 'I'm worried. It's too long and it sounds a little hippy-dippy. I really think you need to re-think this piece. Here you've smooshed Casey and Derek together, but you never even talk about this other issue. And that hem needs to be addressed or Nina's going to say something. Just make it work. Make it work.'"

"_And we know you will. So this Friday, Comedy Central presents, Mini-Dasey, an explanation – A Ralph stand up special, at eight, seven central_," the announcer concludes. "_Oh, and Ralph, you might want to tell Derek what you're doing this time_."

The last clip showed Ralph being interviewed on The Daily Show on Comedy Central. "Yeah, no more surprises. I want to know when my ass-kicking is coming," Ralph laughingly shares.

"_Get the whole scoop with Mini-Dasey – A Ralph stand up special. On Comedy Central_,"

As the commercial faded into the next, the woman in the hotel room smiled and shook her head. She might actually have to watch this special, just to hear Ralph's take on the story. And to see how it differs from the story she and Edwin would tell.

Elizabeth McDonald smiled as she cut off the TV in the hotel room. "Dasey, huh," she thought to herself. "That explains the huge bouquet of daisies he sent for their third anniversary. At least it was better than what he sent for their second anniversary. Still not remotely sure what Casey ended up doing with that."

- to be continued -


	2. The special

Mini-Dasey: An Explanation

The Special

"7:55."

"Yes, it is," Edwin Venturi said to the familiar female standing in the door.

"It's 7:55."

"So you said, so you said. And look," he pointed to his wrist, "My watch says the same thing. So it must be true."

"7:55 is not 7:30," she huffed.

"Again, you're right. How smart you are! That explains why you got your Masters' degree."

"Six months before you did," she countered.

"Hey, hey! That snafu with the surveys was not my fault. But you are right in pointing out that 7:55 is not the same as 7:30."

"I told you to be here at 7:30, Ed."

"Yes, I do remember your orders, Liz," Edwin replied. "But I am autonomous creature."

"And?" she asked.

"And I was really low on gas, so I had to stop before I came over." Finally looking repentant, Edwin asked, "So how long do I have to stand outside as punishment?"

Elizabeth McDonald sighed. "I guess you can come on in," she relented as she stepped back and opened the door wider.

"Okay, so why did you invite me over?" he asked as he walked in the door.

"To get your opinion on something," she answered as she closed the door behind him. Seeing him continue to walk further into her apartment with his outerwear still on, and knowing from experience he would just throw it anywhere if she didn't stop him, she cleared her throat to get his attention. "Coat," she requested, holding out her hand for his outer garment. She was her sister's sibling after all. Some of it had rubbed off.

Rolling his eyes, he took off his coat and handed it to his host. "And you couldn't have gotten my opinion over the phone?"

"No. Because you need to watch something before you give me your opinion," she shared as she hung up his coat and walked him further into her apartment to her couch.

"But on a Friday night? Really, Elizabeth, I'm a busy man," he replied as he raised an eyebrow.

She snorted as she hit him in the arm. "Oh, shove off, Edwin. I know you, remember? We lived in the same house for years. Went to each others' graduations. And I know for a fact you have no job commitments for the night, nor do you have a date."

"Ouch," Edwin winced as he sat down, rubbing his arm absently. "Still don't pull your punches."

"You wouldn't want me to," she said as she stuck her tongue out at him. Reaching for the tray she had on an end table, she moved it to the coffee table in front of them so they would have snacks for the show. Then, after handing Edwin a can of his favorite soda, she reached for the TV remote. "Besides, I thought I was being nice. I had originally thought to try to make this a family gathering back at the house. Although Marti would have loved it, I think it could have gotten a little…awkward."

Edwin laughed a little as he opened his soda and reached for a tortilla chip, "Yeah, Marti's been on all of us to come home for a visit. But what in the world do you plan to show me that would make the 'rents uncomfortable? They usually weren't observant enough to be uncomfortable." He caught the napkin his stepsister threw at him while he waited for her answer.

"True," Elizabeth agreed as she remembered the 'how well do you know your kids' she gave George and Nora over a decade ago. "But even they would get this. And Derek and Casey's reaction…well, we can ask them about it later."

"Ask Derek and Casey about what?" Edwin began, but Elizabeth just shook her head.

"If you had been here at 7:30, I might have told you. Now you have to find out for yourself the hard way," she said as she turned on her television to the US station.

"You are no fun," Edwin replied. He might have said more, had he not recognized the station that Elizabeth had put the TV on. "Comedy Central?" Edwin asked. "Weren't you the one who didn't see the humor in _Office Space_?"

"Shh! It's starting," Lizzie insisted as she turned her attention back to the TV screen. Edwin soon followed suit.

As some instrumental music played, clips of a familiar person flitted across the screen. All of these brief clips seemed to have one thing in common. With different intonations and facial expressions, the comic was repeating one word, "Dasey".

"Whoa, Ralph stand-up? Sweet!" Edwin smiled as he leaned back and took a swig from his drink. "I haven't had a chance to see any of his stuff yet. Sam mentioned he was funny when we talked last. But Derek wouldn't tell me anything about the set they saw."

Elizabeth smirked, "I have a feeling he had his reasons."

"What do you know?" Edwin asked suspiciously.

"Watch and learn, oh, ye of lesser intelligence."

Edwin would have retorted, but the announcer broke in. "From the Funny Bone in Detroit, Comedy Central presents Ralph in 'Mini-Dasey: An Explanation.'"

The scene changed to a packed club with patrons on their feet, clapping. A comic runs out on stage. Although almost thirty, the comic still appeared boyish and was still wearing a familiar hemp necklace.

"Ralph will never change, will he?" Edwin asked.

"Probably not," Elizabeth agreed distractedly, as she was now focusing on the stand-up special.

The step siblings watched their brother's friend smile and wave at the audience, as he grabbed the microphone. From the vantage point of the camera, Ralph briefly turned to glance behind him, maybe to check out the backdrop or to hit a certain camera point. The young twenty-somethings on the couch expected Ralph to turn back to the audience and introduce himself.

That wasn't what happened.

Instead, "Holy shit!" albeit tinged with laughter, was the first thing out of his mouth.

Turning to this audience, the comic tried to back peddle. "I know that is not the first thing the comic is supposed to say," he admitted, "but," gesturing to the picture that served as backdrop, the comic repeated, "holy shit!"

The comic shook his head as he looked at the picture. "I can't believe they put up a picture of them. And…is it bordered by daisies?" the comic asked with wide eyes.

"Derek is so going to kick my ass," the comic shared with the audience, who laughed good-naturedly as they took their seats.

"Well," the comic said after a deep breath. "I'm Ralph. And the couple behind me is Derek and Casey – or Dasey, as I call them. Hence the flower border, my producer's idea of a joke. Which she should have left to the professionals," Ralph muttered as the audience laughed. "I think," Ralph looked back at the picture before turning back to the audience, "that picture was from our senior year in high school. They weren't quite together yet, because Derek had property in denial and Casey was a card carrying member of 'Oblivious Anonymous', but that's them. And tonight I'm going to tell their story.

"When Comedy Central first approached me about this special, I was excited and nervous. Excited because talking about my best friend and his better half always earns laughs. Nervous because…well, I'm still sore from my first Comedy Central special." Some in the audience laughed as they knew the story behind his first stand-up special for the cable network. "And that was just Derek showing his 'appreciation'." Ralph explained, complete with air quotes, "_This_ special might sic Casey on me, too. And I'm more scared of her. Really."

"But, I quickly got over that and got to work. And I wrote out their story. The good, the bad, the ugly…the funny as hell," the audience smiled at that. "And then I timed the run-through. And, well, it was four hours," at the audience gasp, he nodded. "Yep. Four hours. And Comedy Central wasn't going to give me that kind of air time. Not that I didn't ask, dudes. Trust me, I did.

"I told them, 'Dasey is epic,'

"They said, 'You have an hour,'

"I begged, saying, 'Dasey is the ultimate fairytale. The greatest Canadian novel. The most romantic love story ever.'

"They said, 'You have an hour.'

"I pleaded, explaining that, "The story of Dasey has more drama, more laughs, more human interest than the latest Comedy Central movie.'

"They said, 'Derek plays for the Toronto Maple Leafs, right? Think you can get us tickets for their game against the Bruins?"

"'Uh, no?' I answered.

"'Then you have an hour,' they replied."

The comic shook his head. "I don't understand. I try to sell them on the joy and emotion of the story and all they can focus on is free hockey tickets. Women," Ralph rolled his eyes as he finished, leaving some time for the surprised laughter of the audience.

"Apparently," Ralph shared as an aside, "There is a lot of interest in the Maple Leafs Bruins game because it pits my friend Derek against the Bruins star player, Adamson Lassiter, who is also, according to my producer, 'Super hot.' Who knew?"

"But to get back on track," Ralph shared, "I had four hours of Dasey story and one hour of Dasey time. So I cut my set to three key points in the growth of Dasey."

Here Ralph paused a moment, "The growth of Dasey? Sometimes I don't hear myself. It's like I am about to sell your fertilizer or something. Of course, my fellow comics wouldn't call it fertilizer, but anyway.

"So, tonight, I'll share three Dasey moments that really capture their relationship: the moment they should have realized that something was going on; the moment that Derek realized something was going on; and the moment when they finally did something about it." Ralph shook his head. "It took them long enough," he muttered to audience, who laughed in return.

"The first moment was Casey's sixteenth birthday. Now, Casey had decided she wanted a surprise party, but she didn't like surprises. So, she planned her own surprise party."

Here the comic paused and looked out in the audience. "Seeing the confusion on your faces, I will repeat the last statement. Casey didn't like surprises, so she planned her own surprise party. It was supposed to be an upscale, sit-down dinner for six with classical music or something like that. Then, Derek heard about it.

"Now, my best friend Derek is an expert on parties. He had been to enough, even by his junior year in high school. So he decided to really surprise Casey by hi-jacking her dinner party and planning a real surprise party.

"As to why he did it, we all had different theories on it after the fact. Emily, Casey's best friend, thought it was because Derek wanted to have a party. It was just an added bonus that it annoyed Casey. The football captain, Casey's then boyfriend, thought it somehow had to do with him and some football/hockey rivalry. Or something. I usually didn't listen to him, so I'm not really sure what he thought.

"Our good friend Sam thought Derek planned the party to improve the high school rep Casey sometimes worried about. And to make sure he was included on the guest list. It seems Casey was pretty adamant that Derek not be a part of her original five guests.

"I just thought Derek was just trying to repeat what Casey did when she planned a big surprise party for his sixteenth birthday party. Of course, I didn't know about the original party that Casey had envisioned until much later.

"Now, the Derek and Casey fight that would have happened, had this party gone off as planned, would have been epic. If Casey had actually made it to the party. See, the day of the party, hours before the surprise was scheduled to happen, Casey had to be rushed to the hospital to have her appendix removed."

The audience gasped. Ralph nodded his head sagely as he said. "I know. Sounds like a plot to a _Lifetime_ movie. To this day, I'm still surprised they haven't filed suit against Casey for plagiarism or something."

After the audience's laughter died down, Ralph seemed to turn serious again. "Of course, with Casey so ill, the family freaked. Her mother was panicky and nervous. Her little sister was scared and worried. Her stepfather was trying to hold everything together. And Derek? So much was going through his head, I bet he was speechless when he found out what was happening.

"So they reacted in the ways you'd expect. Casey's mother rushed her to the hospital, demanding help in a slightly quaky voice. At least, that's what my sources tell me. Casey's little sister was on the verge of tears for most of the night. Poor thing needed a hug from their stepfather at one point. Casey's stepfather tried to stay on top of everything. And Derek? Well, he left to host Casey's party.

"Now, when I told this story to my manager, her jaw dropped and she said, 'Are you serious, Ralph? When I met the guy, he didn't seem like an asshole.' And Derek isn't an asshole. I'm not the only one who thinks that either. To quote Derek's wife, who – if you remember – is Casey, 'Derek's not an asshole, although he can be an ass.'

"And don't ask me to explain that statement because it will make my head hurt," Ralph pleaded as he made a face that was supposed to look like he was deep in thought. Instead, he came off looking constipated. The audience laughed.

"No, Derek left to host the party for two non-asshole-ly reasons. First, the mention of the party made Casey pissed enough that she wasn't worried about surgery. That eased Derek's fears a bit. And second, hosting the party helped him stay in denial. He told me later that, 'if I accepted that Casey's situation was serious enough not to have the party, then I'd have to admit that Casey's situation was serious enough to merit worrying – in particular, worrying that she might not make it out of surgery. Yeah, so wasn't going to do that,'

"So, Derek put a down payment on a summer cottage in denial, and left to host the party.

"For some reason, Derek decided to tape the party. None of us are sure why. Maybe he wanted to doubly annoy Casey. Maybe he wanted to play director again. Whatever the reason, he had party footage to show Casey, when he went to see her in the hospital after surgery. In fact, not counting her mother, who took Casey to the hospital, Derek was the first person in to see her. And he managed to sneak that football guy she was seeing in to visit her.

"The thing that baffles me about this? Why the two of them didn't realize that it was love at that point. Derek takes over her party so he can be there. Although it wasn't what Casey wanted initially, the party actually had a lot of things that would have make Casey happy. All because of Derek, Emily says. Like, Casey's favorite cake. All of Casey friends, even the ones who weren't really 'cool' enough to be invited to a Derek party. A huge picture of Casey hanging on the wall. A main dish of duck and appetizers that consisted of Casey's favorite foods. Music by Casey's favorite artists playing in the background. This included Jann Arden and Sarah Slean, whose music Derek insists he can't stand. Derek even played a little of Emm Gryner stuff, whose music Derek claims only to tolerate because, 'She's hot; she plays the guitar; and she owns a label,'

"Add to that, while Casey was in pain and fighting illness, all she could think about was Derek and how he didn't do what she wanted. Plus the fact that Derek wrapped up the party early to go see her in the hospital. He even brought her boyfriend – who he didn't like, surprise, surprise – with him to see her. How can a couple not at least begin to think that maybe something else is going on?

As some in the audience nod, "Well, if you are thinking that, you need to ask Casey and Derek about it. Because they didn't get how into each other they were. Casey didn't get it for several more YEARS. For Derek, it just took a few more months and Casey 'living dangerously'"

"Now, while Derek is a rule breaker and I don't realize there are rules half the time," a few snickers followed that comment, "Casey is a rule follower. She has read the rule book several times, highlighted the important parts and has annotated the pages with points and examples.

"So, when Casey breaks a rule, it's noticed a lot faster. Kinda like when Derek follows a rule, but anyway. Casey had broken few rules in her life up by her junior year of high school. The rules she had broken usually tied back to Derek is some way – not that she noticed this. But even the rules she had broken for Derek before hadn't been major rules.

"That all changed one Friday night our junior year. Casey broke a rule and my friend got a clue. What did Casey do? She attempted to sneak out with Derek to go to a party.

"Casey had just broken up with her boyfriend. After this event, Derek did seem to be happier. Not that he realized why, but yeah. Casey, who wasn't taking her break-up hard – yet - had planned to hit the party with her best friend Emily. Derek had planned to hit this party because it was the place to be. He was dragging some random senior with him. I don't even remember her name. She was just filler. Derek was taking her to the party because she was a senior and that's what he did. Just another Friday night.

"Or it would have been, if Derek and Casey hadn't had a fight over the car on Thursday."

"Now, I know what you are thinking," Ralph started, "'They fought all time, right, Ralph? Why should this time make a difference?' Well, maybe it was that the fight was over the car. Maybe it was because they fought like little kids on a playground. Or maybe it was during their fight, they threw a bowl of oatmeal that ended up on Derek's father's head," the audience laughed and Ralph smiled. "Yeah, so they were totally grounded."

"Now, normally, that would be the end of the story, but Casey overheard that Derek was going to sneak out to the party anyway. She was indignant. He goaded her. She decided she was sneaking out with him…and came up with the plan to do it.

"So the party plans were back on track. I had heard from Derek that the problem was solved, so I'd see him at the party. So I was little surprised when I got a phone call from Derek on Friday evening. Actually, calling it a phone call is exaggerating. After I said hello, Derek basically said, 'Ralph. Ride? See you in ten,' and hung up."

"I'd played taxi for Derek enough to figure out what was going on. I went to pick him up. We left for the party,"

Ralph paused and shrugged, "Looking back? I guess I was more out of it than normal. That's the only reason I have for not noticing Derek not being…Derek. What finally tipped me off was that we had to double back because…we had forgotten to pick up Derek's date. Yes, _the_ Derek Venturi had forgotten to pick up his date. That had never happened before. Ever. I mean, ever," A few chuckles floated through the air at Ralph's horrified face. "And that led to one of the strangest talks with my best bud, ever."

"'So, what's wrong, dude?' I asked, after I turned the car around to head to his date's house.

"'What do you mean?'"

"'Um…what I said. I mean, you like forgot your date, dude!'

"'I know,' he said

"'But you have never forgotten one before,' I pointed out.

"'First time for everything. Plans change. And then I had to sit through whatever you were listening to on your radio-'

"'Hey, CHRW is a college radio station, and therefore cutting edge. But dude, what else is up?'

"'Why would something be up?'"

"'Um, yeah. I'm going back up this street because you forgot your date. You got into my car pastier than normal. And, oh yeah, originally you didn't need me as taxi service. Did your sneak out plan fall through?'

"'No,'" Derek said after a few moments of silence. 'It went like clockwork. 'Rents left. Everything was good to go…until I kinda put a dent into the new car.'

"'Holy shit, dude.'"

"'Exactly,' he said.

"'How did you do that? Was Casey shouting at you for sneaking out or something?'"

"'No. She was just sitting there in the car, all dressed up, reciting safety driving tips at me. You know what she's like to ride with in a car since getting her license. Hell, she took you out in the hallway when she was practicing for the test!'

"And," Ralph paused to interrupt his story, "it's true. Casey was practicing some driving move in the hallway days before her driving test and ran into me. Knocked me down. Caused me to see stars. The scary thing? She's a much better driver than Derek to this day, but anyway, back to story

"'Uh, dude, back up a bit. Why was Casey in the car with you?' I asked

"'She was coming with me?' Derek said quietly

"'Wait. I was supposed to pick up Casey, too?! Why didn't you say anything?'

"'No, no. Casey's not coming anymore.' Derek quickly said.

"'But she was originally?'

"'Yeah,'

"'And she distracted you so much that you backed into your father's car?'

"'Pretty much, yeah,' Derek said. 'Her and her stupid safety tips.'

"At this point, I couldn't help it. I snorted," Ralph shared. "Even as a clueless teen, I knew Derek didn't lose focus because of a litany of safety tips.

"I turned to him and said, 'It probably wasn't the safety tips that distracted you, dude.'

"'And he looks and me and goes, "What do you mean by that?'

"'And I go, 'I mean that you do a good job of turning 'Casey-talk' down if you want to. I've seen Casey lecture you before, remember? Something else distracted you.'

"'Fine then, Ralph. What do you think distracted me?' Derek asked.

"'Well…what was she wearing?'

"'WHAT?!' Derek practically shouted at me.

"'Was it that Bade Raider outfit of hers?' I asked, clueless that I had pushed like twelve of Derek's buttons. 'I mean, both times she sported that you had trouble talking when you first saw her. But that makes sense. I mean, you're a guy and she's h-'

"Then my friend cut me off. 'Don't finish that statement, Ralph,' he said.

"'Why?' I asked. 'Casey's hot. It's a fact. I have said the same thing about Kendra and Emily and you never cut me off.'

"'Casey's different,' was all my friend said.

"'How?' I asked." The audience laughed and Ralph smiled a little self-consciously, "I know, I should have been paying more attention but I'm me…so I kept going, 'When I said Lizzie was going to grow up to be hot, you just raised an eyebrow in my direction, and told me to keep drumming,' I pointed out to Derek at the time"

"Then he goes, 'Casey's not Lizzie.'"

"And I go, 'Yeah, I get_ that_, dude.' After a few moments, I added as an aside, 'Honestly, this reminds me of what you were like after the whole Sally thing.'

"'What Sally thing?' Derek said. 'There is no Sally thing,'

"'Exactly,' I said, 'and the whole being shot down thing threw you off your game. But there isn't a Casey thing, so…dude, you are making my head hurt!' By this point, I had pulled up to his date's house. I stopped the car and said, 'Look, just get your date and we'll not talk about this anymore.'

"'Deal,' Derek agreed quickly and practically sprinted from the car. The thing was, I think the talk was on his mind all night. He often looked spaced out, like he was deep in thought, or something. And he wasn't as into his date as I expected. Then, before I knew it, he grabbed himself a non-Casey girlfriend…but messing with Casey was still his number one priority. But the pranks and the fights were a little different from his end after that.

"At his rehearsal dinner for his wedding to Casey, I asked Derek if I could take credit for him cluing into how he felt. I got smacked upside the head for my trouble. I was smacked a second time when Casey asked what I meant, because she had overheard my statement. At that point, for self preservation reasons, I suddenly found a need to go talk to Casey's sister, Lizzie, who had grown up to be hot."

Ralph's set rounded into the last third, but the two people watching on the couch didn't pay as much attention to the last part of the special. Elizabeth McDonald was still blushing over Ralph's comment on her looks.

"Well, there's no accounting for taste," Edwin commented.

"Ed!" Elizabeth retaliated by pushing him off the couch.

"Kidding, kidding," Edwin insisted from the floor. "But that explains some of the attention Ralph gave you at the rehearsal dinner."

Elizabeth merely nodded. Then she laughed. "He even trotted out this awful line about how my shoes were nice!"

"Did it work?"

"Edwin!"

"What? I'm looking for new material. My standard, 'I know the captain of the Toronto Maple Leafs' isn't working anymore."

"You are so hopeless, " Elizabeth shook her head.

They both feel quiet after that to watch the last part of the special. Not that the third part of the story was news to them – or any one else. The whole world – at least the world that watched ESPN – had seen the press conference that "ended in Dasey," as Ralph put it. Casey often rushed to Derek's aid and defense. Casey had done so since she and Derek were both fifteen, and she hadn't stopped. In fact, she defended Derek more than she realized. All it took was one insensitive reporter in the audience and there you had it. But Ralph's take on everything was interesting; it was one of the reasons she had invited Edwin over to watch the special with her.

.

As the credits rolled, Lizzie turned to her stepbrother. "So?"

Edwin just shook his head in amazement. "Damn."

"I know."

"I get why Derek didn't tell me about the Ralph set he saw. And why he was more shook up about the car thing than it warranted."

'To be fair, we were asking about more than just the dent in the car," Elizabeth smiled as she remembered their sleuthing days in the McDonald-Venturi household.

"Yeah, but we were subtle about that. And they were clueless about our _other_ investigation," Edwin insisted.

"Are you so sure Derek was clueless?"

"Okay, maybe not Derek. Kid was a great liar back in the day," Edwin conceded. "But Casey had no idea at all."

"On that we agree."

"But, damn, I wish I had known then that Ralph had suspicions. We could have exchanged notes. At the very least, you could have told me to bring my research binder!"

"You still have that thing?"

"Yeah. And I wish I had with me. There are a few things I'd love to confirm now."

- The End -

Thanks so much to everyone who had a look at this. All of you are the reason this is so great. And, yes, one of my next tasks is to write the Ralph Roast. Which should be a lot of fun.


End file.
